I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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