super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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