This girl is more easily done than said...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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