well you can't waste a boner
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Randomize
