At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
