I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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