I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
