a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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