i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
