All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
