I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
