Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
