I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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