The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
