If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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