i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
it glows. i had to have it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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