We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
