His pubic hair was longer than his dick
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
