Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
