i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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