A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
