I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
