theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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