Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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