I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
