I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
