3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
