The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize