Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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