question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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