uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
