my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
