according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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