I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
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There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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