Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
