Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
my penis made a compromise with my morals
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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