I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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