last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
