You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
