he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
