I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
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That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize