sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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