Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
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