do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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