im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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