I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
