Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
