shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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