That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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