Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
