hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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