Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my sisters under your porch take her home
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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