You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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