The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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