hotel room ftw
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
